It is intriguing that when the topic here is the sexual abuse of children that some would like to silence or restrict that!!!
Why is that?
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  Clergy and Sexual Abuse :: JohnB ::

  Impact Statement
Start here - follow the link at the bottom of the page
   
 
Topics to cover
 
Relationships and intimacy
Alice
sleeping on lounge 
sexual relationship
my sexuality (why did they pick me out?)
dissociation 
Loss of time with my family - Alice and Johl
 
 
Johl
Poor role model
inconsistency in emotional/social support 
dissociation 
 
Socially 
Fear and distrust of males
Teenage years/girlfriends
My reputation (library?)
Fear of riding as a passenger in a car with a male driver
Fear of not being able to find the door handle - air flight over the rock
Lack of sport (dressing room shower) 
dissociation 
 
 
Self/Self Worth
John Brown enterprises
Lack of belonging in society
Social mis-fit 

 
Depression and health
smoking - used as a relaxation/calming method - and for anger management and early links to abuse
Injuries to both feet, back/neck 
Inability to permit medical examinations. 
dissociation 
shock, fear, grief, distress, embarrassment
 
 
Finances 
expenses Sandy
expenses psychologists/psychiatrists/hypnosis/acupuncture/physiotherapist/chiropractic
Loss of time at work and the need to employee others to do the work I was no longer able to do over the past 2 years only is estimated at $175,000.00.
Employment of Jason, Ross, Lasse, Gavin, Dimithri, Janet
Loss of projected (accountants figures) income/sales - minimum of $90,000 per year 
Career
Driving on narrow, dirt roads, particularly if there were embankments on the left side.
Driving - indecisive and at points dangerous - took time to understand the cause of my reactions, panic on occasions.
Disappointment in my own self, my abilities and limitations, lack of education and social skills left me open to exploitation throughout my career.
Disappointment in my lack of ability to promote or sell myself and my business. The financial hardship that brought with it and the disadvantages my family had to endure because of it.
Doubts as to my own sanity and my own abilities. 
 
Career Business 
The huge financial cost due to the loss of my ability to focus on tasks, to undertake tasks and to complete tasks, the inability to to concentrate on a topic and to think clearly and unaffected on important business and family decisions. The ability to think forward and to plan properly in and for my business. The effect of this on having to have additional support for me with countless hours in my business, to manage book-keeping, sales and marketing, telephone, filing and more whilst having to manage all those aspects of our personal household as well.
Being able to perform emergency or breakdown adjustments only, and for that to be achieved in time frames up to 6 times greater than previously.
The lack of ability to have time out and to be able to ponder or explore an issue or need for business, this made expensive professional development, training and education courses worthless.
The inability to see myself as being worthy, having a distorted self image and the inability to sell myself and my ideas. 
Anger
Periods of my life when I describe myself as angry.
 
Anger at the loss of my teeth through intense grinding of my teeth as a child.
 
Anger at being provided with a lifelong series of nightmares.

Anger at having been caused to live my life for the bulk of it in a state of panic. 

Anger at not being able to fit in with others socially and to form stable bonds with other males and females.

Anger at the outcome for me on my 21st birthday which was a non-event where even my father found it impossible to shake my hand or to acknowledge my existence. 

Anger at being forced into a system which abused me as well as establishing the the processes which made me vulnerable to further abuse and exploitation for the next 50 years of my life.
 
Anger at being forced out of career opportunities, promotions and better paying employment - eventually having to resort to self employment and begin the task of attempting to build a life that would allow me to be in control of those aspects, of failing in that aspect for many years and failing to understand the root causes of that.
 
At currently being treated as a capped financial payment without regard for my life, the effects on my family, the costs we have endured.
 
Of having to deal with an entity that knows and understands all of the aspects I speak of here and that they continue to downplay, under compensate and further exploit those they allowed to be abused and put in this situation.

Anger at believing that I was the cause of the failures in life and for not understanding that despite countless attempts to self educate and self-improve and finding that I had to work what seemed twice as hard to get half as much ahead as others I knew.
 
For missing both Alice's and my opportunity to have more than one child.

Anger over having lost my childhood and the opportunity of having and developing friendships.

Anger at being made a public scapegoat by O'Donnell, nuns, subsequent priests and subsequent nuns. 

Anger over knowing that I out-performed other students early in my schooling by a matter of 2 to 3 years, yet with in 12 months I had fallen behind and continued to do so.

Anger at having understood how I learn to separate and work with aspects of my life when they should not have been, this has caused many unfortunate and in hindsight on occasions foolish decisions. 

Anger at the disruption and conflicts caused within my childhood family, at the destruction and problems created for them.

Anger at  being unable to say to my family that I have been heard and that there is genuine understanding of what we have been through.

Anger at the enormous cost to me in many ways.

Anger at the indescribable pain and suffering caused to my family and the anger at the lack of recognition of that.

Anger at being raped and forced to perform oral sex on a supposed man of the cloth.

Anger at the experience of and the recollections of the terrible retribution enacted on me when I and others did speak out.

Anger at the experience of and the recollections of the pain of the beatings and the dis-functionality forced onto my family.

Anger at the experience of and the recollections of the pain felt as an 8 year when threatened with an eternal life in hell.

Anger at the experience of and the recollections of having the full power and force of the church employed against me.

Anger at the experience of and the recollections of the anguish of being helpless and dis-empowered through the actions of the clergy through their threats of excommunication on myself and my family.

Anger at the failure of the Church to protect myself, other members of my family and so many other victims of clergy abuse.

Anger at the failure of the Church to provide what they had preached and sold to my family, namely that the church and their religion would stand by them and support them in their time of need.

Anger at hearing my 72 year old friend being beaten by thugs under the direction of the then parish priest.

Anger at the speed at which the church turned on him when he attempted to speak out.

Anger at the lies spread about him and the deceitful way in which priests and nuns relayed messages which had supposedly come from him.

Anger at seeing his belongings burnt and destroyed against his wishes.

Anger at being cheated of those things which had been meant to come to me upon his death.

Anger at not being permitted to visit him on his last days. 

Anger at being used as slave labour for countless hours by nuns and priests, to run errands, chop and carry wood, to fetch groceries and alcohol, to collect eggs, sweep, garden, run errands and much more.
 
Angry at having to provide money to the church from what little I acquired, angry at having financially supported that which abused me and set out to continue that for as long as they deemed necessary.

Anger at the experience of and the recollections of  the deceit and injustice perpetrated by the Bishops of the time and their administrators.

Anger at the experience of and the recollections of  the deceit and injustice perpetrated by the nuns and priests and of church officials.

Anger at the experience of and the recollections of being scapegoated, being bullied, anger at the many horrible, depraved inhuman actions that were taken to protect those priests and to permit them to continue to sexually abuse many other children for many years after these issues had been brought to their attention

Anger at the experience of and the understanding that these things that occurred were the result of actions instigated by the Church or through the Church.

Anger at the rape of siblings by priests. 

Anger at the torments which can only be administered through the use of unbridled power or mania via members of the congregation and nuns.

Anger at the continued failure of the Church to acknowledge the harm caused to my childhood family, my own family and to other victims. 

Anger in knowing that my pain and their pain was caused through the repeated actions of abuse and the inactions of the church leadership and its administrators.

Anger at the failure to receive a written apology from the Pope, and from the Bishops, and from each individual who played apart in moving O'Donnell and others on so that the honour of the church was not sullied at the expense of the lives of many hundreds of children.

Anger at knowing that many of those victims have suicided or died as a result of the abuse enforced onto them and anger at the church for continuing to fail in this area.

Anger at the ruthlessness of the actions of the Church in dealing with those it permitted to be abused.

Anger at the continued accumulation of the blood of those who unfortunately have not and those who will in the future lose their life, for some their families and for some their peace of mind or sanity due to the inactions of the church.

Anger at being discriminated against through not being treated equally with others who have been compensated through the church and via the law.

Anger at the unAustralian manner of the church's present response to these abuses and anger at its inaction, the gross lack of leadership, management and apparent dishonesty in its dealings with people.
 
Anger at the knowledge that there are people within the current clergy who have and who will abuse more children and anger at the use of God as a means to avoid the responsibility of  ensuring that there are no further instances of clergy abuse.
 
Anger at not finding the Church to be something other than what I had experienced in my childhood through the abuse and subsequent bastardisation which ensued.

Anger at the knowledge that those inexcusable times and methods are not gone from the Church, and that it continues to treat people today in a similar manner to that which I and others experienced.

Anger at beaing beaten with a log of fire wood by a nun and then being branded as "accident prone" by her and other nuns. 

Anger at seeing the many thousands of victim and victim support sites on the Internet  dealing with clergy abuse. Anger that those harmed individuals have not been treated humanly by the Church.

Anger at the understanding that the extent of religious abuse in the Catholic Church is only limited by where it does not have a presence.

Anger at the failure to be treated justly and honestly.
 
Anger at having to experience the discrimination the catholic church partakes of in the name of God.

Anger at the churchs' failure to actively support and genuinely assist myself, my family and other victims of clergy abuse.Anger at the failure of the Church to meet my medical needs and those of my family who may have a need as well on occasion are met for as long as is needed.Anger at the Church for its past and current lack of  vigilance, despite the many hundreds of complaints handled and known of.

Anger that there are those within the church who will not support an appropriate and proper methods of dealing with victims.

Anger that the Church did not step forward and act on its preached principles, anger that that can come from those who believe that their religion is one of the great religions of all time when in fact it is a failure and an enacts repeated acts of gross hypocrisy.

Anger that I and others have been denied the knowledge of the full history of sexual abuse within the priesthood and the knowledge of that history reaching back for more than one thousand five hundred years.

Anger at the current lack of acceptance of its obligation, its lack of moral fibre and its inability to deal ethically with people of any sector of society.

Anger at the discrimination against clergy abuse victims who are repeatedly denied natural justice and social justice.

Anger at the lack of genuine dealings with the realities of its acts of religious abuse and its lack of caring and understanding of the victims circumstances and that it simply paying them out and dumping them to survive unaided and abandoned as the church has done in the past.

Anger at the despicable practice of binding victims to confidentiality agreements and other clauses which attempts to abuse the law and the victims right to be compensated fairly and for that not be subject to legal agreements exonerating the church of its actions or removing any right of the victims.

Anger at the failure to apologise for these past errors of judgement and and that it holds past victims to those abused laws and that it fails to release those victims from that legal obligation of silence.

Anger at the failure to release its data and information in regards victims and perpetrators by willingly cooperating with other churches and ecclesial communities, other religious bodies, institutions of learning, and other interested organisations and individuals conducting research in this area.

Anger at the despicable practice of binding victims to confidentiality agreements.

Anger at the failure to apologise and act to put a stop to its errors of judgement.

Anger at its failure to release past victims from their silence agreements. 

Anger at the failure to compensate victims of clergy abuse justly by award appropriate compensation as determined by similar circumstances as a result of a legal action and that that compensation should also take into account the pain and suffering experienced by their families.

Anger over the fact that those working within the system know and understand that the compensation is not compensation and believe that it is inappropriately named.

Anger that compensation payments rarely meet a victims recent costs, let alone provide something as actual compensation.

Anger that the church can continue to operate above the law and

Anger that it can continue its thousand year history of sexual abuse unhindered.

Anger that one part of the church can discriminating  and act in the most deceitful ways and to say to the Catholic Church, its bishops, priests, administrators and employees that the actions it perpetrates against victims is a continuation of abuse.

Anger at the current processes of assessments, interviews, reports and appearing before a panel and through being dealt with by an entity who acts in this and the above ways.

Anger at being denied the ability to think clearly and logically for the better part of my life.
 
Anger that for 50 years I have been denied the experiences of joy, glee, excitement and happiness. 
 
Anger that I have been denied the natural right of enjoying my childhood, teenage years and adulthood. 
 
 
CONCLUSION
 
In writing this impact statement I have faced down many devils and demons, some of my own making, some which may be related to my abuse and its effects on my life, however in the main the worst devils and demons I faced were a product of the Catholic Church. I would like to say to each and everyone of you that I hope you have faced your devils and demons and that you are capable enough as an individual to distinguish between right and wrong. I fortunately have had few of that type of demon to face down, the ones where total responsibility lies with yourself based on your actions as a human being, your sense of and ability to stand for justice are difficult ones and I hope that there are none of those demons coming for each of you.
 
I can prick the conscience of each and every one of you and I can prick the conscience of the Archdiocesee of Melbourne, its bishops, priests, nuns, administrators and in all sectors of its operation, I can also prick the conscience of each and every parishioner in this regard simply because the actions of this panel, the actions of administrators, the actions of the Archdioceseee of Melbourne, the actions of many parishioners are simply wrong in the way they have treated, assisted, compensated and dealt with victims in the past, and they will continue to be wrong unless they act in the manner in which the Church preaches.
 
I believe than unless the Archdioceseee does make these changes then it should voluntarily give up the right to represent Jesus Christ, or that right should be taken away from them as they are not and have not acted in the manner taught by him. I believe that every parishioner of this part of the church and in each and every other sector of the church as well as other religions should have the right to present himself on behalf of Jesus Christ against those churches, religions sects or groups who present themselves as his representatives and that they should have the right to be heard in a court of law where they may seek to have the right of that entity to represent Jesus Christ revoked as they have falsely and consciously acted against his wishes and have mis-represented him.
 
 
Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
 
Articles of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights which the Archdiocese of Melbourne is in breach.

 
Article 1

Article 2

Article 3

Article 5

Article 6

Article 7

Article 8

Article 10

Article 12

Article 16

Article 17

Article 19

Article 22

Article 23

Article 25

Article 27

Article 28

Article 29

Article 30

 
A full copy of the Universal declaration of Human Rights can be found here.


  
 
John Anthony Brown
00/00/2006 
 
 
 
 
[[[[[[ - to be removed
 
 
The betrayal of children is the most appalling act of abuse, and for the archdiocese to provide a just outcome for victims is to committ a further act of abuse on those who are already victims. If the current methods are continued then it must be taken as understood that the archdiocese is not capable of rectifying thye problem from within and that the herirachy does not have control over the situation. This clearly means the government must act to either call a half and review the actions of the archdiocese and lead them in the proper direction. If the archdiocese continues to re-abuse victims with its methodolgy then the government must act to enforce a proper outcome.It is eveident that to this day the acts of re-abuse and clergy abuse continue it seems by the actions in the courts to be unabated. When you can count the number of paedophiles within a group and give them a percentage figure above 5 then this simply stint of the numbers including the proportion of priests from the archdiocese can only lead one to the conclusion of a paedophile ring entwined within the structure of the archdiocese , a paedophile ring of such abhorrant and powerful people - huge.
 
 
 
Virtually every out of court financial settlement is covered by anon-disclosure clause. That’s why you rarely hear about them The Melbourne Archdioceseee also has this clause in their settlements(despite not being done through a court), but insists victims can talk anyway, if they want. Those accepting Melbourne Archdioceseee payouts also have to sign an agreement surrendering their right to take legal action against the church in the future.

There's two issues: first non-disclosure clauses done through the court are
enforceable by the court. A non-disclose clause in an agreement with the
archdiocese is part of a commercial arrangement, and would be harder to
enforce (they would have to go to court on breach of contract). And my
understanding is that the agreements and payouts are for you surrendering
your right to sue the archdiocese in the future, it's not compensation.

Secondly, courts apply fairly precise measures for calculating damages (such
things as pain and suffering, lack of earning ability, medical costs etc
etc). The archdiocese uses a compensation panel made up mostly of lawyers
(working for the church) who normally only meet the victim once and reach a
figure based on what I'm not sure (the victim impact statement can provide
an idea of the emotional cost, but what about more material costs such as
loss of income due to ongoing psychological problems etc etc?). I suspect
they pluck a figure out of the air and see how your react. And remember,
your legal fees come out of the payout.
Hope this helps. ]]]]]]]]]]]]
 
 
Willing to sign an agreement with the Church so long as it does not take away any of my rights.
 
 
 
I object to the Church demanding psychological and psychiatric reports and other reporting to the Catholic Church, the same authority which then sets itself up to compensate in the measliest manner possible - effectively a law unto themselves. These reports have been used against many victims. It is yet another legally sanctioned opportunity for the church to re-abuse victims. In this way they are able to attack one of  the most damaged individuals in our society.
 
A number of Churches have been shown to follow similar practices and to still under acknowledge the depth of the problem and the effects on those individuals caught up in this re abusing.. 
 

 
 

 
 
 


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Pedophilia and sexual abuse of children in Australia

My Broken Society